Pause for a Second and THINK!

Have you ever thought ‘what if you die the next second’? What if you are diagnosed of a deadly disease which you cannot survive? Your days are numbered and your remaining life is spent counting days before death. At that point, when you relive your whole life, what do you see?

Ignore the life after death shivers, just forget about the unfulfilled wishes; just relive the life you have spent. What do you see? You see both good and bad days. Focus on the part about what you have been doing. You will realize that you spent life envying people, earning money, planning the future, messing up relationships on petty issues, living in the past and regretting bad decisions made, blaming fate for all the wrongdoings of life, fighting and arguing with people, gossiping/bitching about others, feeling jealous of friends/colleagues... There is an endless list of ‘such deeds’ you will remember. Pause for a second and think what benefit has it brought you? Apart from disturbing your mental health, inner peace and wasting time these activities have only damaged your life. And not just damaged your life it has hampered your happiness; and mind it this is on you. This impairment upon yourself is a result of your own doings.

Your envious and jealous attitude made you look down upon yourself. It leads to dissatisfaction with what you have. It made you focus on things you don’t have instead of the things you have. Because of such attitude you have been unable to cherish the gifts of God.

You kept on planning for future and worked and worked and worked; just to earn money for a better future. What if you don’t have a future? You spent all your life for a future which never existed. You wasted your life on something of which you have no guarantee.

You keep regrets in your heart for decisions which did not yield good results. And you just keep on living in regret. You keep on blaming fate for being unfair with you. If you die tomorrow, will you like the fact that you spent your last days blaming fate?

You argue with friends, fight with family and spoil relationships. Do you want to spend your last days alone? No family no friends around you to enjoy your last days with, is that what you want? You are wasting all the beauties of life. Top of all are wasting the most precious gift of God: LIFE ITSELF!

The world will not stop without you. People will not stop living; what matters is that will you be remembered in good faith? Will you leave a mark on this world that people take time to talk about you, in good terms? Or have you ever thought about any good you are leaving behind? Any good you have done for society or others without the expectation of getting something in return?

PAUSE FOR A SECOND AND RE-THINK. LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL. SPREAD LOVE AROUND YOU AND LIVE LIKE IT’S YOUR LAST DAY TODAY!

Good vs Bad

Sometimes life goes in a stagnant phase.

No good no bad just the same.

And this “same” eventually becomes bad for you. You cannot live in one specific phase forever. Whatever you do, whatever you wish for or whatever you plan, you just cannot change your circumstances. At this point you think that if you had not practiced the so-called-religious-rules-of-life you would not have landed in this particular situation. At this point of time in life you wish you had defied the rules. You wish you were the bad person in the eyes of society. You wish you had tasted the enjoyment of being bad. Then, atleast, this monotonous-never-ending-twisted-phase-of-life never would have happened.

The regret of "being good" kills you from inside, as one cannot imagine living in a life of regrets because of the good choices you made! This gives you the realization that living life by the rules or living life practicing good, does not frees you from any regrets or disappointments. This type of life showers you with a different set of challenges which often dawns heavier clouds of disappointments with yourself!

 

 

Deprivation.Pain.Regret.

Life has its own way of teaching you things. Sometimes it makes you learn through regrets sometimes through pain and suffering and sometimes it’s through deprivation. I on the other hand have experienced all such phases of so-called life learning lessons through all such means. And experience tells me:

Regret comes after pain and suffering.

And pain and suffering comes after deprivation.

Hence the order being: deprivation, pain and regret.

Regret is something which I never had and I was very proud of this fact of my life. I was confident and firm about the decisions I took in my life. Occasionally I took calculated decisions taking in consideration all pros and cons; but sometimes it was just like a revelation that ‘this is the right decision’ and I used to follow it. These occasional revelation kinda decisions made me believe that God Himself is making me take the right decisions and no doubt it always proved good in my favor. These can be called “risky decisions”. But with my strong faith in God and stronger believe on the fact that God is there with me in these decisions always made me happy. Never knew that instead of the risky decisions these planned choices, will shatter my confidence and wreck the no-regret element of my life.

There is a time when you have everything offered to you like a full decorated platter of food which has all the premium items on it made from very fine ingredients. The full luxury platter is at a hands reach and you choose not to extend your hand and reject the platter because you are not in need of it. Therefore, you just walk pass it choosing to ignore. Life gave you an option and the option you picked was rejection.

Life goes on with this confidence of right decision in mind and everything is good and positive around. Faith in God grows stronger and stronger as the choices you have taken are resulting in superb results. You feel like on top of the world. People look up to you. Acknowledge you. Quote you as an example. And you on the other hand cannot be happier but still never let this get to your head. You continue to thank God for His countless blessings.

Then all of a sudden life goes gloomy. All the self-confidence and surety about life smashes to smithereens. Everyone around you is happy and cheerful because they achieved what they were struggling for. Only you are the one deprived of your dreams. Here comes the phase of deprivation. You can blame fate for it; you can hold the circumstances responsible or you can blame the people around you for not helping you, the basic fact does not change, that it is you who has not achieved what you desired. With this realization comes a huge surge of pain. You made every effort you could; you struggle like hell but no success. At this time all you can say to yourself is that maybe now is not the right time, something big is waiting but these so-called consoling thoughts change nothing. Thus the period of pain continues.

During this period, you go back in memory and rethink all those events which led to this day. You think and think and think and this overthinking leads to incorrect judgments, wrong conclusions and you create scenarios which never existed. You keep on creating reasons and conclusions which eventually lead to regrets. Regret brings with itself a strong surge of emotions, the building blocks of which are deprivation of your dreams, an unending phase of pain and overthinking. Regret kills you from inside. It questions your entire being and the reason for existence. No matter how hard you try, the pain of deprivations spurts regret and hence a long period of grief.

This is storyline of everyone. For some the path from pain to regret is longer for some it’s short. But this is the reality. You eventually learn to live with this pain and suffering and it becomes a part of you. But one never forgets his/her first ever feeling of this pain, deprivation and regret!

Chapter 1

Everyday life opens up with a new chapter. You wake up to a bright day with a fresh mind and clear thoughts. Then why the hell am I not feeling fresh, Vivian asked herself. This is the first thing that comes to her mind after waking up. She read this line somewhere maybe a magazine or a book or possibly some article she read online, but couldn’t recall.

Rubbing her eyes with one hand and finally dismissing the alarm after snoozing it twice Vivian got out of bed and headed towards the washroom. Looking at her in the mirror, while brushing, with the tap running, the same statement came back to her. Who writes such things in today’s world? Must be some optimistic idiot of ancient time whose life revolves around sand castles of flowery bookish words and phrases. As if they could run their lives from these flowery words. Waste of intelligence. Vivian shook her head to erase the thought from her mind, rinsed her mouth and headed towards the dressing room.
 

With the regular fake smile on her face she entered her office, greeting people on her way towards the second floor. Once seated she fired up her laptop, got tea from the kitchen and started the daily work. The day went by, chatting around with colleagues, ignoring people’s unnecessary attitude, absorbing boss’s rude orders, listening to people’s distressful life stories, attempting to avoid dirty office politics, bearing unfair treatment of peers, cracking jokes here and there, pulling each other’s leg and the day passes.
 

6 30 exiting the office building and rushing back home maneuvering her car through the traffic, Vivian prayed to reach home in time to avoid scolding for being late. Luckily she did. After dinner and a couple of hours with family she got ready for bed. And that’s the time she fears the most when all her scary thoughts and feelings and observations come to haunt her. She was living a robotic life; following one boring routine, doing same monotonous work and bearing the same damn attitude of people. There was a time when every morning she woke up with new zeal fervor in her blood, keen determination in her mind to start the day with a new perception. There was a time when she used to look forward to go to sleep and wake up next day to start afresh. 
 

What happened to me? Vivian questioned herself that day. Is this the life I desired and worked so hard all my life, to achieve? Is this the life I always dreamt off while working day and nights in university, spending endless sleepless nights over project and presentations to achieve grades in order to earn a better job and an improved living?
 

Her life was a mess; personal and professional both. She was living like a robot with all feelings shutdown and passing everyday like standing on a bridge where she does not want to continue the path on the bridge; and cannot even jump, in fear of losing everything she has right now. No doubt what she is going through, it’s the only thing which keeps her going on in life and she cannot risk losing it.
 

Is it worth it? she thought. Isn’t my life going to be better off without all the stress, mental tension, depression and sadness?
 

Well only time would tell. Brushing away all weird thoughts, she pulled the blanket over her head drifted off to sleep.