Everyday life opens up with a new chapter. You wake up to a bright day with a fresh mind and clear thoughts. Then why the hell am I not feeling fresh, Vivian asked herself. This is the first thing that comes to her mind after waking up. She read this line somewhere maybe a magazine or a book or possibly some article she read online, but couldn’t recall.
Rubbing her eyes with one hand
and finally dismissing the alarm after snoozing it twice Vivian got out of bed
and headed towards the washroom. Looking at her in the mirror, while brushing,
with the tap running, the same statement came back to her. Who writes such
things in today’s world? Must be some optimistic idiot of ancient time whose life
revolves around sand castles of flowery bookish words and phrases. As if they
could run their lives from these flowery words. Waste of intelligence. Vivian
shook her head to erase the thought from her mind, rinsed her mouth and headed towards
the dressing room.
With the regular fake smile on
her face she entered her office, greeting people on her way towards the second
floor. Once seated she fired up her laptop, got tea from the kitchen and
started the daily work. The day went by, chatting around with colleagues,
ignoring people’s unnecessary attitude, absorbing boss’s rude orders, listening
to people’s distressful life stories, attempting to avoid dirty office politics,
bearing unfair treatment of peers, cracking jokes here and there, pulling each
other’s leg and the day passes.
6 30 exiting the office building
and rushing back home maneuvering her car through the traffic, Vivian prayed to
reach home in time to avoid scolding for being late. Luckily she did. After
dinner and a couple of hours with family she got ready for bed. And that’s the
time she fears the most when all her scary thoughts and feelings and
observations come to haunt her. She was living a robotic life; following one
boring routine, doing same monotonous work and bearing the same damn attitude
of people. There was a time when every morning she woke up with new zeal fervor
in her blood, keen determination in her mind to start the day with a new
perception. There was a time when she used to look forward to go to sleep and
wake up next day to start afresh.
What happened to me? Vivian
questioned herself that day. Is this the life I desired and worked so hard all
my life, to achieve? Is this the life I always dreamt off while working day and
nights in university, spending endless sleepless nights over project and
presentations to achieve grades in order to earn a better job and an improved
living?
Her life was a mess; personal and
professional both. She was living like a robot with all feelings shutdown and
passing everyday like standing on a bridge where she does not want to continue
the path on the bridge; and cannot even jump, in fear of losing everything she
has right now. No doubt what she is going through, it’s the only thing which
keeps her going on in life and she cannot risk losing it.
Is it worth it? she thought.
Isn’t my life going to be better off without all the stress, mental tension,
depression and sadness?
Well only time would tell.
Brushing away all weird thoughts, she pulled the blanket over her head drifted
off to sleep.
